RANSVESTIA

children to know of my interest in crossdressing. However, I did tell my wife after several months of marriage that I had a "thing" about feminine apparel. But she said that she never wanted to see it and she didn't change her mind thereafter.

About six years ago I gained access to some privacy and for the first time I dressed all the way, including a wig and makeup. I certainly was astonished to see how much I looked like my mother. Thereafter I would dress at "my secret place" every month or two. My wife guessed the reason for my many absenses and so about five years ago we reached a compromise in which I could wear certain feminine items of clothing around the house in her presence when we were alone. I hoped that I could work up to dressing completely in her presence, but her rejection at the beginning became too much for me given the super- sensitivity of the subject over the years.

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I went on one last "purge" grew a mustache and went through the whole macho bit again. I am glad to say that two years ago I finally got my head together and for the first time ac- cepted myself for what I am a heterosexual transvestite. I feel that this acceptance was the turning point in my life and in the way that I feel about myself. The burden of guilt for all those years probably shaped my life and personality.

Seeking acceptance and an outlet, I joined the Society for the Second Self about a year and a half ago, and went out in public for the first time. In fact, the first time out of the closet was at the meeting of the Society members in Dallas. I found much ac- ceptance and sincerely regret that I did not join sooner. But "sooner" I wasn't sure I wanted to be associated with a bunch of "wierdos" who wear women's clothes. And, of course, "sooner" I wasn't to the point of accepting myself as I really am.

As a definite personality, LINDA didn't emerge until I joined Tri-Sigma, the "short" name for the Society. I didn't even have a name until I had to choose one to put on the application for

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